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Unfortunately, those of us who don’t see the benefits that mind games offer tend to use it for devious purposes – specifically, relationships.

No one is exempt from this transgression because both men and women are guilty of playing mind games.

The thing is, dating isn’t inherently a game any more than the act of putting one foot in front of the other is; viewing dating as a competitive, adversarial pursuit that requires cunning, strategy and deception is not a function of dating itself. It’s not inevitable, not fundamental to the pursuit of courtship, it’s not even as common as you think. There’s the competitive sport in which players compete with each other to see who can score the most. ’ justification version, perpetuated by Pick Up Culture, Sex and the City, and Cosmopolitan magazine…

It’s time for us lowly (opposite gender) to start fighting back, protecting ourselves, and getting ours every once in a while!

The motivations differ from person to person, but the goal is always the same – to win.

Whatever the prize is, using mind games to acquire it never ends well.

The guy or girl playing hard to get will still give off those tell tale signs that we just mentioned.

"Games are the way we keep romance alive," says Helen Fisher, Ph D, author of . Playing hard-to-get or leaving a little to the imagination allows the woman to be wooed and appreciated and the man to be challenged and intrigued." What makes these courtship contact sports so appealing is that there are no losers and they pave the way to building a relationship that's humming with excitement. Play these five games with him and we promise you'll score.

Like John Travolta’s character Danny Zuko in Grease, the men of today (and yesteryear) all labour through the trials of dating under the misguided notion that “playing it cool” gets the girl. Well, if the dating game today is anything to go by, then apparently we do.

Following “The Rules” that state that you cannot seem too interested in a guy is probably the wrong way to go about getting your man. Do we really think that “treat ’em mean to keep ’em keen” is really all it’s cracked up to be?

They’re other players, to be held at emotional arms-length, outsmarted, and beaten.

Viewing romance, dating, even casual sex as a game is a way of taking something that could be co-operative and uplifting, and turning it into a battlefield in which some win… It’s when guys are focused on choosing words they think will subconsciously suggest that their date give them a blowjob, when they could instead just focus on, well, connecting with them, a human predisposed to spontaneously engaging in acts of enthusiastic sexuality of their own volition!

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